You can develop a toolkit to help you self-soothe.Īt least that’s what I did when I felt my anxiety creep in after the guy I was dating went radio silent for several days. Dating and relationships can feel excruciating when you get triggered and fall into what seems like an endless pit of stress and worry.īut it doesn’t have to be this way. This description likely sounds all too familiar to those who struggle with anxiety. All it takes is a simple trigger: An unfavorable reaction, an awkward pause in conversation, or perhaps, as in this case, no response at all. When my anxiety kicks into overdrive, my pulse quickens and my breathing becomes shallow. No matter what happens, you are safe here. You are safe, I said to the little one inside. My nervous system slowed down as a sense of relief washed over me. The rise and fall of my chest superseded the racing thoughts in my mind. I turned my focus inward and brought my attention to my breath. I closed my eyes and sat with my discomfort. In reality, I knew there must be a way out of this spiral-some solution to pull me out of the depths of doubt. Or at least that’s what it felt like at the time. I’ll probably never hear from him again, I thought. I felt overwhelmed with emotion and under siege with worry. Cognitive distortions were tripping me up left and right. I hadn’t heard from him in four days, and my mind was at war with itself.
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